Thursday 31st May Rethel

We had porridge for breakfast and planned to leave later that morning. Collette dyed her hair and we bade fond farewells to mike and Denise with promises to remain in touch and hopefully see each other again on our travels.

We wanted to do a shop so steeds were mounted and off to intermarche. Collette found cherry beer. Oops. How we staggered back with all the swag in the panniers and basket I will never know. Well done crew! I left Collette to unpack and set off for a mega Carrefour the other side of town. A 1in 4 all the way. I had to dismount and walk at one stage. I returned with a 9 ft pole and a 65 cm parabole. Dish. 40€ seemed reasonable. I spent hours erecting, why do these things take me so long these days I mused. Collette was busy making cushions with sewing machine whirring away so we postponed departure a day as Collette wanted desperately to see the sangliers des Ardennes hotel. It was 10years ago we had a brilliant weekend with tony and rose and stayed at this gem of a place.

The dish was not working and my frustration was not helped by the very thoughtful help from hamburg who was a technical man with very limited English who was surprised that my sky box was in English and not German so he was unable to help.

I was surprised by a beaming face in my window asking in a broad American accent " do you think you could help me secure my boat only my crew has got to get a train to Belgium. Turned out Zechariah was a photo journalist who had bought more than he had bargained for with his old Dutch barge but it was a lot cheaper than an apartment in Paris. Through the Internet, He had got crew to help his passage back from Amsterdam to Paris. That crew was running bags swinging toward the gare! No way could he handle the barge alone. Zac was a little stressed as He had to go to Chernobyl and 6 other countries for work in the next month and so was desperate to know if he could leave the barge here for a long stay. i told him i thought it would be ok which subsequently it was. He showed me over his barge, it was very arty inside and he had spared no expense on wood burners and hi fi equipment and lighting and the walls displayed lots of his work. A clear preference for black and white and appropriately the barge looked quite sinister in black and white livery although this was original and not his work. The interior was omuch much better than the outside which needed lots more tlc. And he knew this was a long term project. A nice guy and probably about 35. He had those perfect gushing American manners, thanks man, you are so very kind, I really appreciate your help on that. Thank you so very very much.........I had plugged his lead in!

A short exchange but I Zac. Nothing wrong with good manners!

I mention this brief aquaintance as it highlites one of the great features of this campaign. The social aspect. You just meet an array of characters who mostly have an interesting story to tell. Nationality and class barriers are generally broken by the mutual purpose of extended time spent discovering these beautiful waterways, providing, in the main, a very relaxed and stress free existance. For Zac, it was the dreamy bohemian style lifestyle whilst working in Europe. He was a cool dude but this old fart was invited on his boat within minutes of meeting him, offered a beer ( I was half expecting a spliff to be honest ) and we were exchanging life stories. nice one!

The yank sorted, We took the bikes and headed for les sangliers, beers and pastis to toast our absent chums T and R at the hotel. It had not changed a bit which was lovely.

We were chuffed to get a picture from rose taken 10 years earlier showing Collette on the balcony.

We rode through the park before making our way back where I cooked, may I say, a stunning chicken and mushroom curry.

I also won 2-0 at cribbage.

Went to bed at midnight a happy man.

 

 

Wednesday 30th May. Rethel

Got a New bread today. Called simply, pain, it is a big version of the baguette. Enjoyed it with a freshly picked mushroom, omelette. We decided to make use of the facilities! Rethel halte was unusually not free but at 5 € per night hardly a rip off and Collette wanted to do a big wash before our visitors arrive in a few days. I was not overly happy as the boat was transformed with washing lines everywhere. The crew seems to love the washing machine more than me.

Got chatting to Mike and Denise on a fabulous barge next door. Really nice people they had been on the waterways for 10 years and invited us for drinks later to give us some advice regarding the midi where they had spent 4 years and also owned a property on the river lot.

I messed with my satellite dish with the jubilee weekend and the euros approaching fast. Just couldn't get a signal again. Hamburg next door was also having trouble but when he got his sorted, I decided a bigger dish was called for.

We sort of drifted into drinks with mike and Denise about 5 ish. They were lovely. Mike had suffered heart trouble for 30 years and had a fibrillator fitted. He had to go to Perpignan every 3 months for check ups and the battery needed replacement. If it stopped so did he so seemed pretty serious but he was cool about it. He had once had a heart attack on a train station and turned to Denise and just said well that's it. He was brought back at the 4th defrib charge. Denise had just had a benign,as it turned out,tumour removed from her neck whilst wintering in Spain 3 months ago and she had to fly back there next week for checks. They were quite a pair. They had loved the last 10years but had just put there barge on the market and were buying a farmhouse in the south of France where mike could have cows and establish a shooting estate. His health issues were forcing the reluctant decision. The barge was 8 years old, it had taken 3 yrs to be built for them and so quite emotional about selling. They gave us loads of tips about all things French waterways and we established a nice friendship in a very short space of time. it had been a very pleasant few hours.

Could not believe it was suddenly 9.30 we had planned on a Chinese restaurant for dinner. Denise invited us to share their now very well cooked meal but i was determined to try a french chinese resto as had heard great things about how much better they were than ours so we strolled into town despite fully expecting the Chinese to be closed. Empty of people of course but open, bloody well open. Lacked atmosphere so we grabbed emporter and scoffed very late again. Oh and a Load of nonsense about quality based on this experience. Bland and certainly not up to Kam too standards!

Weather. Hot hot hot! Excellent drying day!

 

Tuesday 29th May Variscourt to Rethel

Trip. 34 Kms. Departure 11am. Locks 6 of 48

Waited for our bread delivery having witnessed old Dutch and yes indeed depart at the customary 0845 hrs. We salivated over en route hot dogs on what was a pleasant enough section of canal. Ok but just nice really.

Collette set to work on producing a tablecloth. Yes I know risible isn't it.

She was regularly interrupted as the locks we now opened by twisting a hanging mid stream pole. The secret is to not get cocky and go past too fast as if you line up slightly wrong the pole has every chance of smashing your windscreen, or something else horrid.

Arrived Rethel at 4 ish and found a spot between .... Yes.... Old Dutch and mr indeed who was immediately out fussing over helping me with lines and then establishing electric as him and old had already acquired the two available plugs. It was now I discovered that I needed a 2 pin. Bloody unbelievable I thought. 2 pins short of a connection, that would be me then!

Rethel had a good feel as Collette put it. Full facilities and fabulously luxuriously hot strong showers. By 4.30 we were sat on the poop deck at a pristine blue checked tablecloth draped table weighed down by a nicoise salad and a full bottle of ice cold Sauvignon. Marvellous.

By 5.30 Collette was snoring and I took off in search of a 2 pin connector. By 7 I was sorted new splitter and self sufficient again. The veining sort of drifted by and we had a very late supper of chili with toasted baguette. Collette thrashed me on the crib board and I retired a tad grumpy. She is so unbelievably lucky at cards.

 

Monday 28th May Variscourt

Yet another bank holiday in France, no wonder they are in economic meltdown. Still we had the mooring to ourselves by 9.30 as the ever routine obsessed Dutch had breakfasted and departed at 0900 hours give or take a second. We were just enjoying tea in bed so were sadly unable to assist with lines.

We were bread less. A calamity. Then at 1030 as I sat on the bank sulking, Collette cried out. Andrew, I think they are delivering bread. I had heard the hooter but had ignored it. I grabbed shoes and wallet and started a cacophony of whistling shouting and whirling of arms. Did the trick, I was chuffed to see Patrick's boulangerie van reversing towards me. Our. Smiling baker was out of c roissant but good for baguettes. She promised to return tomorrow and ensure I got croissant.

We expected a raft of picnicking French families but nearing lunchtime, we were still alone. We mounted the 2 pedal powered Harley's and sought out guignecourt. The town was as every French town on any day. Ghostly. No people, no sounds no tv no music radios etc.it is quite bizarre.

We set off toward Neufchâtel. Home town of a very nice and favoured cheese. Several farms were advertising asperges and fraise. We were seduced as we knew it was the height of the asperges season. After a perky bonjour welcome, the young farmer looked a little crestfallen as I ordered 4 stalks of his 7.5€ per kilo box. In matters asperges size matters. The boxes were priced every half euro from 4 to 11 per box I thought I might look a little practiced at least by going middle of the road but clearly he was expecting a rather heftier order. I supplemented and gained some credibility by purchasing fraise and eggs and some salad.

The cycleway into Neufchâtel was through a stunning arbour through the woods with the sun searching out ways to pierce through the rich foliage. Delightful. .

We crossed back over the canal and decided on the shortest route along the towpath which looked very overgrown and unkempt but hey no the crews coxsic was giving her serious trouble and we were 5kms from the boat. Riding was a nightmare through grass and weeds and nettles waist high but somehow it was all great fun.

After a total of 21 kms, It was a relief to see Doucette and we immediately noted 2 new Dutch flagged arrivals. A fairly big steel Pedro in front and dwarfing beyond them a 26ft saga boat.

We sunbathed and had a doze but I was woken at 6 ish by the arrival of a steel leviathan carrying, rather incongruously, a speed boat on his Davits. I was watching him pass when suddenly noted he was spying a spot in front of the saga. Bloody tight and with that the murderous sound of stern and bow thrusters crushed the tranquility. The leviathan edged sideways. Fair play he got in. The saga was swamped. 20 minutes later the saga capitulated and moved up behind us where there was room for him. He seemed crestfallen and pretty miffed so I attempted consoling words. I quickly realised his knowledge of English was based on the word "indeed and yes" normally in the same sentence but he did throw the order around A bit. Now I am no one to talk being pretty limited in Dutch myself but it became more and more hysterical and I started making up increasingly long sentences knowing the reply would be a beaming "yes indeed" Precious!

6.30 is Dutch dinner time and old Dutch produces a beautiful crocheted white cotton tablecloth complete with dangling corner weights, silver cutlery and dinner service set amongst the trees. It made a lovely scene. He sensed I was watching. I nodded in admiration. He managed to return the nod but with an aire of "yes we are a class act" sort of self confidence.. I am beginning to think that they are nice enough but a definite edge of arrogance about some Dutch boaters. Mr indeed however, is certainly not from this mould

7.30 and i inadvertently inaugurated the shower tournament. I retrieved my hot bag of water and set about rigging it up in a tree close to the boat. Before I had finished I noted the old Dutch chap in front go below and retrieve his sun shower bag, he filled it and put it on the wheelhouse roof. Within moments leviathan erects a 8 ft pole in the bank and attaches a hose from the leviathan to a shower head atop the pole. He stripped in a thrice and was under a torrent of water. Old boy had to wait for heating so was third under. Despite the competition I enjoyed a magnificent shower with this most underrated accessory. Mr indeed did not get involved.

.we barby'd duck legs and herb crusted pork chops both a little disappointing unlike the merlot. Noted that leviathan and old were sharing drinks excluding fellow countryman, yes indeed. I felt sorry for him!

We took a late evening stroll to take pics of the fowl and feed the other horses taking in a bushy tailed red squirrel sighting prior to a coffee and bed.

 

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Sunday 27 th May Bourg et Comin to Variscourt

Trip 27 Kms. Departure 11am. Locks 2 of 42

We said our farewells to Kiwi Pete and johnny marsden and made a hurried exit to get in front of an approaching labouring peniche. I broke the speed limit of 8 Kms per hour by a tad to make distance between us and settled into a fairly routine cruise. Not many locks so was pleased not to have to keep lifting the engine bay to start port.

Reached Berry au Bac and saw the familiar stern of Colin and hillary's broom. They were sunning themselves on the stern deck and asked us if we were joining them. They had enjoyed a nice trip here but had lost there Davits in a lock when the gates closed and Colin was a little too close. Nasty!! Lovely steel ones and bent to buggery now. Funny how things turn out, Colin was a very nice chap but had clearly been the basis for enfields "you don't wanna do it like that" character. Whilst coming alongside at a tunnel entrance, with doucette caught in a back current, I missed a bollard. Once moored, Colin was straight off his broom and approaching me. "got a bit of rope". Yea sure Colin, what's up? I just want to show you how to lasso you need to make little circles....

You get my drift, but it was such a tempter. " Colin, you don't wanna leave those lovely shiny Davits in the lock gates etc etc"

Sorry Colin! Cheap shot!

 

Bollocks, no I am not, you deserved it!

They were heading off to Reims tomorrow which meant a right turn here whilst we were continuing on so I said we were happy to crack on as it was so nice and cruising actually gave one a little breeze to cool oneself.

We drifted on until 4 ish when we stumbled upon a delightful halte at Variscourt.

2 very nice Dutch gentlemans motor yachts were already nestled and the 2 couples were sat at one of the picnic tables enjoying a very late and extended lunch. They watched us intently as we came alongside. The drop down to the bank was big and collette was vary wary of hip and coxsic issues, it was clear she was struggling to drop down with our lines. No move from the table. Just so disappointing.

An hour later the clearly enebriated Dutch men lifted temperature gauges from the river hung from their craft and nodded in agreement. Next Dutchy 1 dons a full fluorescent orange flotation suit and plunges into the canal and starts to scrub, with a tiny bog brush, his already immaculate blue hull. Dutchy no 2 attempts to make a raft utilising 3 of his fenders roped together. He reversed down the boarding ladder and mounted the clearly flimsy contraption holding aloft with some pride a similarly pathetic hand held toilet brush. On landing, his bulk slipped straight through, the fenders parted and drifted off and at this stage I realized he could not swim. Collette came too mind, so I lifted my glass and smiled as he flailed away desperately groping for a drifting fender. Life can be so sweet sometimes. Twice in one day! Yes I know my turn is surely coming!

The wives then entered the fray and swum past gloating how it was 23 degrees in the water so ok to swim.

Where was that bloody viper when I needed it?

We settled down to a lovely evening at this most picturesque of halts. There was a very new born baby horse (foul, fowl ? Who knows) with the mare never more than a Fag paper distant and showing incredible, only mothers, patience as the baby horse played and experimented with break dancing in his new set of gangly pins. We enjoyed the cabaret as we sipped some bubbly as the sunset and Collette revealed that "this is one of your better pasta dishes darling". I staggered to my slumbers quite bemused and refused to entertain her with a hand of cribbage.

Weather. 23 degrees in the water, need I say more!

 

Saturday 26th May Piñon to Bourg et Comin

Trip 23 Kms Departure 9.30. Locks 8 of 40 weather Super scorcher

The planned early start was scuppered by a crazily French 8.45 opening time for Carrefour. Bourg et Comin offers electric, we need a charge and good place to investigate solenoid issue.

A good shopping expedition, bought some more oil although the stbd level seems to be holding now. I could not be that lucky that the leak seals itself so more oil and keep a close eye on things.

First issue was the shock of an approaching peniche, not a problem but at this point it looked seriously narrow and he was fully laden. Pas de problem, We passed with a fag paper or two to spare.

It was another delightful journey

The highlight of the trip was a safe entry and exit of the 2.4 km Braye tunnel. A true engineering feat and although having done it before it still is a wondrous thing to travel that far through a mountain on your boat with water constantly dripping through the ceiling from all that rock above you. Impressive, took about 25 minutes to make the passage. Lighting is pretty good so no great dramas.

Arrival at Bourg et Comin was dissappointing the pontoon was filled by kiwi flagged barge, uk cowes marked ex hire craft but a big one and a tiny French yacht looked like it had Lived there a very long time. No movement from the boats so I nestled alongside the cowes bungalow.

I was forced into finally sorting out a splitter but this meant breaking my French 2 pin connector but I was not worried as had not used it now in 2 years trips. Whilst labouring, Peter, a proper accented kiwi emerged from the bowels of his impressive barge and immediately offered help and suggest I split his power. I told him of my starter problem and he said he was happy to help with any problems I had. I politely refused explaining how that could take years!

Cowes bungalow returned, a ringer for johnny marsden (cousin in law). Mike was a star, he was a Ryde man but treasurer of a cowes syndicate who had bought the bungalow 7 years earlier. He had arrived 3 days earlier for a 3 week vacation. He had discovered a bilge full of diesel and had so far spent 3 days getting to. Grips with a seriously major issue. The tanks were leaking. He had just returned from the nearest large town fremes armed with several fuel cans to decant into and dispose of the ruined fuel. Despite all this he immediately offered to drive me anywhere in an effort to source any new parts.

He spent all evening on the phone relaying the latest to fellow syndicate members and organising some cowes based experts to come out to replace the tanks. Not much of a vacation.

Mike was a top man!

We charged everything that moved and place dan emergency call to smeds. As ever the genius stopped me from stripping the solenoid and diagnosed the problem. A few quick checks confirmed I needs a new Pre solenoid relay. Peter and mike confirmed nearest auto parts shop is at rethel 50 Kms away and Sunday tomorrow and bank holiday Monday so we sunbathed and prepared to celebrate Zoe's birthday which we were sadly missing.

We slaughtered a huge portion of prawns and avocado with a chorizo, leek and potatoe tortilla and toasted her with a bottle of bubbly, but were sad not to be there to chink glasses with her.

Weather yet another roaster. Can this last forever please!

 

Friday 25th May Guny to Piñon

Trip 14 Kms departure 2pm locks 4 of 32 weather bloody hot

A morning stroll to the boulangerie was interrupted by what can only be described as a very alarming incident. Just 100yds from the boats mooring we passed over a side stream. With his darting tongue and alert head above the water the viper was cooling his 18 inch length in the stream. After the initial moment of sheer terror, I bravely and almost casually snapped a photo. As I reached for the video he was spooked and slithered off in the general direction of Doucette. It was time to move on.

the village menagerie greeted us and helped calm the shattered nerves as we approached our chum the baker.

We had a long chat about the quality of his produce and like all good bakers he was serving in the shop naked from the waist up. I asked to take a photo but he was far to embarrassed so with regret I just took one of his magnificent croissant and pain au chocolat.

I even saw an old anderson shelter on our return to theboat but not sure if this is what they were called in france and actually if this is what it was. You decide!

After a mid morning breakfast, we wrote read and knitted, drank lots of tea and coffee until 12.15 (now) when I am cracking and having my first beer of the day. Touch wood the fridge is performing brilliantly on gas which is nice after the debacle of warm beer last year.

Time to depart. Bugger.port engine fails to start. Normal checks reveal solenoid starter problem. Screwdriver across the relay gets us started but means I cannot turn engine off in the locks and potential problem of sucking up the debris into the strainers and overheating. Not ideal but hey ho we are escaping the viper.

The locks on the rather pleasant canal are all beautifully manicured by there owners and it is nice to see these properties in use and retaining the old character. Far too any are boarded up and rotting. I topped the water at the Guny lock and tried purchasing a dozen eggs at the next. Despite all windows being wide open we could raise nobody. Very trusting over here. I cannot imagine the same situation back in blighty.

As mentioned previously, although canals are much straighter than rivers, this one certainly does not disappoint scenically. We cut through the dense piñon forest and were delighted to spot a large deer motionless in the long reeds bankside watching our every move without the turn of a hair as he stood statuesque and we slipped by.

Fascinated by a tractor tidying the canal bank and the sheer brutallity of this machine which turned overgrown mass of weed and shrubs into a green towpath runway. Not good for hay fever sufferers but nice for walkers cyclists and fishermen.

Settled at piñon a carrefore less than 100m away and a source of merlot and beer. It was a solo adept raid by the skipper. The crew had not even finished making tea before I returned with 6 btls bubbly 6 btls merlot 2 Sauvignon (I had a moment) and cases of kronenburg and Heineken by way of a change. I drank tea and left. The crew to stow the booty and stock the fridge.

Whipped back to the Carrefour petrol station with the trolly and took advantage of €1.36 per ltr diesel. With euro up to 1.26 it was not too bad at all.

Pasta dinner, merlot and finally put Downton to bed. A fantastic end to the day

 

 

 

Thursday May 24th Guny

Strolled into this just perfect rural village and was delighted to find 2 shops one of which was a boulangerie and open at that. My progress had been tracked by cows chickens cocks horses and dogs from every property. Each house was an island in a sea of immaculate vegetable plots. The boulangerie was an absolute gem and beat the bray artisan by a distance so far as the very best of the best. This fare will not be bettered the whole trip, I guarantee!

After a very quiet breakfast with the odd superlative exchanged, we mounted the wheeled steeds and set off the 3kms to Coucy Le Chateau. The road sliced through a dense forest to this fortress walled city sat high on a promontory with commanding views over the Aisne valley. The city had been largely destroyed by those cultural assassins the "Germans" but still our first sighting was greeted with awe for 2 reasons. First it was bloody spectacular, second we were faced with a 1 in 3 climb in 83 degrees with not a breath of breeze.

We staggered up the hill walking more than riding and headed for the first bar we could find.it was lunchtime and busy. The cream dessert creeps being served to a beaming faced elderly couple in the corner looked Devine but it was a 1664 for me and orangina for her!

We hit the castle, 11€worth of stop yourself views and history. I very nearly became another castle victim when descending some centuries worn wet steps down into an artillery store. Classic French disdain for health and safety impairing your visit as the steps were in pitch black and no warning signs in evidence as I careered down a flight grabbing hold of a loose iron railing saving this old fart from a nasty fate.

Craftsmen were busy preparing for the season of medieval spectaculars staged here throughout June July and August and groups of chattering schoolchildren were seemingly being enthraled with tales of old by suitably dressed medieval ladies in waiting masquerading as tour guides.

The small and gratifyingly "entre libre" museum featured fascinating comparison pictures of the town Pre during and post wars. Bloody Germans!

We strolled around the old church perched and encircled within the ramparts such that you were walking at about 3/4 high around the knave, a unique feature as it is rare to look straight into the eye of the gargoyles normally peering down at you from such great heights. No surprise Then that this church also doubled up as a defensive position. The views certainly qualified it.

The ramparts had encircled the town with 28 towers at various points but the majority of these had been destroyed by you know who! We ended up at the local tabac next to the marie and my mind reflected on the pictures of German troops sat in this very spot. I got Collette to take a picture of me enjoying my 1664 wondering if the museum wanted to add a bit of 2012 history. In truth i doubt it.

We left the town down a wonderful steep hairpin road sat directly beneath the walled city. The road had been chalked with various competing cyclists names a la tour de France and I wondered if this was our second brush with the same race remembering the Albert thing.

We made our way across the valley to Pont St Mard and a stunning church which was closed!

And so we ended the day with the help of the much skipper maligned iPad by going off piste and cutting down tracks to return to Guny. Great fun and we were rewarded with yet more lovely views. The I.pad proved itself and we slipped into The rural peaceful retreat of Guny at about 6.30. It was still roasting so we had a cup of tea and then retired with beer and wine to the sun deck and basted for 2glorious hours before saturating ourselves in cold pork with dauphinois potatoes. Out of a tin they were yet another lidls triumph. Super day we slept soundly and very content with life.

Weather . A bloody scorcher.