Tuesday 31st July Uzemaine to Port les Bains

Trip 10kms Departure 10.30 Locks 12 of 320

Awoke to a glorious morning and settled for tea coffee and bread for a light easy breakfast. By 9.15 we were alone on the quay as Barry, immaculately turned out in blue chinos and ralph lauren shirt followed Spatz out toward the inevitable lock 200mtrs upstream.

I had to smile as within a few minutes I spotted yesterday's French friends who had moored slightly upstream of us, come through the lock and form an orderly queue behind the two boats for the second successive day. Their timing needs work!

We left an hour or so later and hoped for an incident free 10lock trip to a renowned beauty spot Port les Bains. The scenery was winning me over.

I was fed up with this canal, ridiculously overlocked and up until yesterday, I was wondering what the fuss over the Vosges was all about. Yesterday and today, it just blew us away and suddenly the locks were a pleasure to have 10minutes in to soak it all up.

Lock number one, straight through, lock number 2 gates opening as we arrive. This was going fab. I called to Collette to change tactic on entry, " you just concentrate on lassoing the bollard, I will pull the lever from here" she lassoed first time and I stretched to grab the blue lever, I held the red emergency lever with my right hand for balance and leverage and went to pull up the blue lever when suddenly the red lever slipped down. Bugger, Thank god no sirens or bells. I pulled the blue, nothing. Bugger bugger bugger. I had closed down the lock. An embarrassing call to the Vnf and a lady was on her way.

The skipper was in the dock. The crew was judge and jury and the skipper new his fate. Over tea, the first and what certainly would not be the last mention of You are a complete FW was deservedly delivered by the jury and advice was offered as to leaving the lock work to people who know what they are doing and such irritating stuff but I had no defence what so ever. We had our longest wait for the seventh cavalry to arrive. 20minutes of suffering for the skipper then the lady arrived and gave me that awful smirking but so nice " pas de problem" the look said that she was desperate to add the words "you FW"

I smiled my aurevoirs and merci as we set off for the next lock just round the bend. We arrived to see a barge just lifting into view. I hit the radar button and we got our red and green. Back on track. The barge disgorged itself slowly from the ecluse and as it passed me the lights went double red. No no no!

I pulled bankside and Collette jumped off and went to phone. The smiling knowing lady arrived in less than a minute. I desperately tried to explain that this was nothing to do with me. She just smiled.

It became one of those stop yourself days with picture opportunities at every turn and at every lock or road bridge as the case may be!

The towpath provided regular human contact as holidaying cyclists and walkers trod this most beautiful path. A wheelchair came past. The occupant just dressed in a pair of shorts and a bandanna on his head waved joyously. I had a moment when i just wanted him to get the hand back on the wheel as i had a vision of his chair suddenly carreering off down the bank and into the canal. He kept a straight line though as He whizzed past us which gives some idea of our speed.

we were arrived at lock number 9 of the day in good time despite the early issue and we decided we might go on an extra 5 Kms to Fontenoy Le chateau where their was electricity. We had no phones charged and the crew was in a tiz after the Stacey incident. The lock gave us red and green. The gates opened but the lights stayed red and green. Another call. In 250 locks we have probably had 6 issues up to this canal. In 3 days we have had about 10.

The man came and found a problem with the gate mechanism and we were quickly through. We passed into Port les Bains. The brand new quay was empty and it looked very lovely. I suggested it looked lovely and it was very hot now but I knew the crew was keen to get that phone charged so I zapped for the lock. We immediately regretted it and so it was that we passed through the lock and as always had an interested audience. They became a puzzled audience when 100 yds after exiting the lock, we turned round and came straight back through.

It was a great decision. The spot was just a delight.

 

We had savoury crepes with double fried eggs, ham and emmentale cheese for lunch.

The afternoon was spent sunbathing, reading and people watching. It was very very lazy. At 7 we strolled over to the picturesque auberge in the corner and sat on the patio for Ricards and beers. I ordered the first Ricard pour ma femme et Biere pour moi. The waitress looked at me like I had two heads. Coca cola, cafe she offered. Non Ricard. Pastis I tried. ah Ricard she exclaimed.

The service got poorer when I told her we did not want to eat. We were pleased about that when we saw the burnt offerings being delivered to an adjacent table of disgruntled looking tourists. After 2 Ricards and 3 beers it was the first time this trip, I left no tip despite her having a very cute derrière which the crew laughingly spotted me blatantly admiring.

Back at the boat I lit the candles and coals and while Collette prepared our fresh haricot cooked with onion lardons and garlic, I grilled the monster cow chops.

It was the best meat we had eaten all trip. A fantastic meal.

We drank merlot and looked at the man in the moon frowning. God knows why, it was a magical night in a stunning setting.

 

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Monday 30th July Chammousey to Uzemain

Trip 15kms. Departure 9.30 Locks 18 of 308

After little sleep, we called the hospital and were told doctors were on their rounds. The ward sister told me that stacey was fine and should be able to go home today. She had suffered a burst ovarian cyst and it had been important to remove the fluid. They had also discovered a slightly inflamed appendix and had taken it out while they were in there as a precaution. The news was all good and shortly after stacey called with confirmation that the docs were happy that they had sorted everything and she could go home later today. Brilliant!

Suddenly we were hungry. We slipped through the tunnel under the canal and got a baguette, a horseshoe shaped baguette whose name escapes me and a couple of cakes to have with elevens's. Breakfast of yoghurt crumble bread and poached eggs tasted so good!

We slipped away from the lovely village of Chammousey

 

inevitably before we even got to mid stream, a vessel rounded the bend behind us and suddenly we were two's up in the locks.

I had already decided to stop at Girancourt just a couple of locks further on to shop at a supermarche publicised in my fluvial book so we would slip him then. In the mean time we could concentrate on this narrow rock lined cut.

At Girancourt we moored alongside the long quay.

So did our French companion who was very friendly.

We both hit the shops. I was checking out beers when the lights went out. Bugger, it closed at noon for 2hours. Proof once again that we will never get used to French shop opening times no matter how long we stay it would seem. Good news was we had loaded up with some serious rib of beef and some huge chops. The carnivore skipper was very happy.

we got back to Doucette and unloaded and decided on a swift departure. The French were topping up fuel so seemed a decent opportunity. I left the crew to pack the fridge and got under way. Into the lock and pulled the lever swiftly. Looked back and in horror discovered a different vessel boldly emblazoned spatz on its bow, approaching the lock at speed. It was too late to stop the process. He was in for a long wait and was rightly gonna be pissed at me. Arsene wenger moment, Honest guv didn't see you. Trouble was he was now at the lock gates and we still had not started moving and he was watching me. I could not bring myself to look at him.

The locks on the Vosges are not only ridiculous in number but to make matters worse they are the slowest in Christendom. I hurtled out and headed for the next just a few hundred metres away. In and away again. Should be able to keep one ahead and save from further embarrassment.

Arrived at next lock just as the gates were flashing and closing. Trimble buggeration a big barge was entering coming the opposite way. That's torn it! An entity later he was out and I was in. I did the decent thing and waited some 5 minutes and sure enough along came Spatz. In he came and just looked at me and said ok, meaning we could pull the lever. No thanks for waiting or by your leave so bugger the sackcloth and ashes routine. Besides I had genuinely not seen him and had nothing to be embarrassed about.

We locked through 2 or 3 more together and entente cordiale was established. More very nice Germans who never spoke a word of english but were clearly very friendly people. The trip became a locking nightmare. 4 locks we had to call the Vnf to sort problems so progress was unbelievably slow. The maddest driving Vnf man was beside himself. 24 lock problems in one day, he spluttered as his phone vibrated and whistled more bad news his way. He looked confused and dazed by the whole affair as his Citroen berlingo left serious rubber on his departure to help more souls in trouble at a lock.

At the next lock, no sooner had we attached ropes, a dear older lady approached with a laden bag of haricot fresh from her garden. Oui s'il vous plait. With that like Mary poppies she delved into her moped topbox and produced eggs, cucumbers courgettes and parsley bunches. I went for a chunky cucumber and chunkier still courgette. She asked for a 4€ I gave her 5 and told her to stop herself.

Spatz cleared her top box of goods and was absolutely chuffed with his purchases. she was delirious. Before we had started dropping, she was off screaming up the road to refill the poppins box.

We had not finished with him and at 5.45 with two locks to go to get to a halte for the night we had yet more double red lights. ( buggered)

He whipped us through and signalled to hit the gas and he would see us through the last lock. It was nice to unleash Doucettes fords for the first time in some time and in an atomic mushroom of black smoke, her bow lifted gently and we fairly hurtled the 400mtrs to ecluse 18. Dick dastardly was already there waiting and fair play manually saw us through the lock which had closed for business 4 minutes earlier at 6pm. After the day he had endured, he had done us proud. I lobbed him a brace of 1664,s. He accepted them as though he had won the pools. Now I know they are pretty precious but......

Bloody nice bloke!

I moor in a tiny gap between a frenchman under repair and a rather nice British flagged 42ft steeler. An Amirante model qoffered it's owner Barry. Had done his early sailing in langstone harbour, small world! Another ex sailor who had sailed the med for several years before finding it becoming too expensive for moorings. 80€ per night he told me was not unusual. Having transferred a yacht through the canals, he had always wanted to return. Bought this beauty Linden Lea 4 years ago but had enjoyed those years around Germany and holland and this was his first French foray.

We have Pre dinner drinks and I phone a restaurant I have discovered on the net and am pleased to hear that they have a table for two for 8 pm.

Quick change and it's a beautiful 2km stroll along the canal towpath to a tiny village called Melomenil. The restaurant is one of only ten farms in the vosges who are part of a scheme. They offer home cooked traditional food using only ingredients produced on the farm.

We arrived and joined a family of mum dad daughter and her 4 yr old daughter. The farmers wife took our order and her daughter was waitress. The menu was obviously restricted but we had 3 choices for starters and two options for main.

Collette opted for a traditional Vosges tart thing. It was a huge slice and was a pastry case with a Munster cheese and home cooked ham filling. Super.

I at last braved the fromage du tete. Basically lots of aspic cementing chunky bits of pigs head. this also came with a huge slab of home made compagne pâté.

We had a huge bowl of lettuce leaves coated in a mustard dressing with home made crusty bread which was too die for.

Could we manage mains. We had coq au vin. The chicken free rage was red from marinating right through to the bones and was stunning. We hardly did justice to the haricot beans and a buttery sweet and savoury sautéed potatoe and carrots dish. More bread was just silly now!

Dessert was home made vanilla ice cream and stewed baby apricots.

Coffee.

We had beers and a 50cl pichet of red wine. Total cost a fantastic 48€

we walked back along a moonlit thank god but otherwise pitch black towpath through the dense pine forest and waxed lyrical about tonight's whole experience. Brilliant!

 

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Sunday 29th July Epinal to Chammousey

Trip 10kms Departure 10.45 Locks 14 of 290

I circumnavigated the whole of epinal on the wheels of steel in search of a boulangerie this overcast morning. Enjoyed it immensely but sadly returned with bread which frankly was a bit doughy. Luckily I had a pamplemousse and pain au chocolat to redeem the brekky and collettes almond croissant kept her tranquil and at peace with the morning which is always a brucie.

 

The return trip up the embranchment was incident free and we turned to port to face the first of fourteen locks in just 3kms making up the Montee de Golbey up to the summit of the canal du Vosges. With recent lock issues on this heavily overlocked canal, it was with a little trepidation we entered lock number 14.

Pas de problem.

At 13 our luck ran out. Two red flashers. I was ready to scream. A call to the Vnf and our man was with us in a few short minutes. Turns out the storm had produced some floating debris which had caught in between gate sensors. We were soon on our way through short pounds between the locks. The scenery was of new build homes for the whole staircase and is best described as drab.

We also encountered the ugliest lock entrance of the trip whose gates were a weird fibreglass construction.

At last and with great relief we reached the summit. There was an immediate welcome change in the scenery. Rural, green and at last how I expected this canal to present itself. It was long overdue, I had been less than enamoured so far with my decision to come back from Saverne to take this route and had been expecting beauty which with nearly 100kms traversed had materialised for only the first 20kms or so and we seemed to have spent most of our time in locks which were either broken or simply the slowest process we had encountered so far.

My mood was already improving as We arrived at the lovely village of Chammousey. A picture post,card place. We moored alone on the bankside and settled down on a lovely sunny afternoon to cheese pate and bread for lunch.

The phone rang to shatter our day. Stacey was in a hospital in Cambridge having suffered stomach pains overnight and following tests was awaiting surgery to clear fluid from her ovaries and check on her appendix.

Carla was on her way to Cambridge but suddenly we were amidst our first crisis of being away. We were both frustrated and worried and the iPad was in full use investigating quick routes home should they become necessary. It was a long wait for news with texts that the wait continues.

We went for an evening stroll round the village. A strange situation in that the canal lies above the land and there are pedestrian and vehicle tunnels which pass under the canal for village access. It was a bit spooky walking under all that water especially as lots of it was running down the walls.

It was a lovely village and we tried to relax in the knowledge that Carla was now at the hospital and reporting that our panicky little Stacey was handling it well and she had just gone to theatre. She could be down up to 2 hours depending on what they found and then in recovery for 2 hours so we were heading for a long night.

We got back to the boat and I put on the Olympics and we just did not have an appetite to eat. It was the early hours when the phone rang. "Hello dad" from a clearly out of it daughter was enough to fill me with relief. Carla took over immediately and informed that they knew no more than it was what they had expected and all had gone well, the doctors would speak to her in the morning.

It was still going to be a sleepless night wondering what had caused the need for such quick surgery and the fluid found on the scan, but it had been so good to hear her voice.

 

 

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Saturday 28th July Epinal

Woke to a hot morning. Healthy with eggs on toast for breakfast.

Steel steeds into epinal old town centre for the market. Usual stuff with some lovely vegetable stalls and the indoor market provided me with half a kilo of fresh sardines. We settled on a roti chicken with onion gravy and roast potatoes for lunch.

A look around the old cathedral having strolled down the rather darkly named rue des morts and then it was up to the old chateau. A steep climb but we were rewarded with some fabulous views of the regions first city.

Via the boulangerie and my first full pint for some time at a riverside bar, we headed back and after devouring the chicken and roasties soaked in onion gravy, the crew washed the bedding. A guarantee that it would rain later. We watch cavendish miss out and worry that it's a sign of things to come for team GB.

By 6 it was hammering down!O

We turned to a bottle of fizz to brighten the outside gloom, watched some more Olympics and settled for chicken baguettes at 10.30 to soak up some late night merlot. It had been a bit of a heady mix and after last nights late night, the pot beckoned.

 

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Friday 27th July Thaon du Vosges to Epinal

 

Trip 6kms Departure 09.45 Locks 5 of 276

We were woken by a severe rocking and the tell tale thumping sound of a fully laden gravel barge passing at the ungodly hour of 7.30.

So it was that after a routine breakfast of yoghurt cereals and bread and eggs, we slipped the now empty mooring at 9.45 and on passing through the first lock immediately struck in behind one of the commuting barges. Progress was pitiful but I knew they must unload pretty quick from the rapidity of the round trip as witnessed on our berth yesterday.

Sure enough, just before lock number 3, we saw the conveyer belt rumbling the dusty pink gravel into the air before topping the insatiable pyramid below. The monotonous creaking and scraping of the twirling crane with gaping jaws emptying the cavernous steel belly of the Impatient delivery barge, while the bargemans wife took her over excited yapping poodle to relieve himself against the first 8 trees he could scurry against.

Glad to see the back of him we made decent progress through industrial scenery to the epinal embranchment. A 3km stretch where you either kept to the very centre of the narrow stream or risked serious hull damage as the seriously shallow shelving banks made visible the carnage below, and certainly got the attention of this skipper. We never waived from that centre line.

Upon entering the port, we saw that It was busy. We ended up against the wall on the opposite side to the capitinnaire. This was a very busy restaurant bar and also provided electric hire boats for tourists.

Collette was keen on watching the opening ceremony of the Olympics but we had a row of large trees obstructing my signal. I moved and we got it sorted still on the wrong side of the port but hey ho, it did!

We took the bikes to suss out epinal. There were signs for two town centres in opposite directions. Very French! We picked the right one and ended up in the old citadel. There was a jazz concert on at 9 in the main square but we had other fish to fry.

 

We popped into the tourist office got some info and headed back for spag bolognese and the glorious opening ceremony. A patriotic night but I for one thought the queen parachuting into the stadium was a little undignified for this great lady but after calls to home, perhaps I am just getting a bit old!

It was a hot and humid night and with the Olympics finishing after 1 we slept in the main saloon.

 

 

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Thursday 26th July Nomexy to Thaon les Vosges

Trip 7kms Departure 11.30 Locks 5 of 271

I leapt on the steel steed and went in search of bread. Came back with 2bottles of Cremant 24 cans 1664 some greek yoghurt ad 4 thick pork chipolattas. A baguette and a gros pain.

I had fancied Sausages in a baguette for breakfast ever since the kebab incident the previous evening. Collette loaded mine with mustard and in I went. The middle of these sausages had cooked to a sugar pink colour. Collette rejected immediately and a passing fish spent the day nursing a sore head and wondering what he had done to upset her. I determined to eat mine but it has to be said that they were a disappointment. We just not got it right with sausages for some time now except the compagne ones outside nancy. I determined to sort it. Some Greek yoghurt and fresh melon saved The day and we set off in good heart.

A short run of 7 Kms and 5 locks would not take long and so it turned out until we got to lock number five and just 200m from our mooring. I noticed the Slow moving penich from some way off and decided it must be a Vnf barge working on the canal just outside the lock gates as it was not moving.

As we neared I realised that I was wrong, it was moving at about an inch per minute. It took 10minutes to finally get into the lock. No room for me and nowhere to tie up. I would have to leave engines on tick over and hold ground. It took the gravel laden barge 35 minutes to clear the lock.

Finally alongside at Thaon, I was forced to use a stake as it turned out we hit ground on the stern being at the end of the mooring. The weather was getting serious. The heat making it uncomfortable to do anything more than blink. We slept on the foredeck under the white shade until a gust of wind brought it toppling over us. We huddled under the small shade on the poop, afraid to go below into the sauna hell that was the main cabin. I drank one drink after another desperately trying to have water between courses. It was hell!

Boats arrived and Two in front of us was a stunningly expensive leviathan with a flag which I suspected was south American. Collette consulted the ipad and confirmed it as chilean. The owner and his wife or mistress, but then who am I to judge, perhaps she was the owner and he was her Oliver tobias, returned on their bikes. It got me thinking about Chilean people as to be fair it is an unusual flag to spot in these waters. As i surveyed the occupants i was hit by the realization about wealthy chilean people. They all look the same and like Kenny Rogers. I am convinced that well heeled Chileans take the album cover of islands in the stream to their local couffure shop and say, make me look like that!

And as for Chilean ladies, they either look 406 years old or have a beautiful head of that honeycomb coloured hair, a colour that only wealthy Chilean and Spanish ladies can achieve. Anyway, I digress, they had friends arrive from Germany and it reminded me happily of when our friends had arrived, great gushing hugs and kisses and I was happy for them. They would have a nice dinner and a catch up late into the night.

Collette and I took to the bikes at about 9 as it had got a little cooler and we needed exercise. A lovely ride around town and along the canal, on our return Collette shouted that she was gasping for a Richard and would I mind stopping for one.

I had 3 beers whilst she downed a couple of Richards and the world was a lovely place. We got back to Doucette about 10.30. Chilean Pipe music drifted across the moorings as I knocked up a pork and beans in black bean sauce with soft noodles and we sat out back in candle light listening to mull of kintyre. Magical.

 

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Wednesday 25th July Richardmenil to Nomexy

Trip 41 Kms. Departure 9.15 Locks 21 of 266

Having been set for a few days we were happy to be on the road today and the Kms just sort of drifted by. The scenery was beautiful early on as we moved effortlessly through the first 3locks retracing our steps of just a few days ago. This time we got through lock no 3 of the day which opened onto the lovely aqueduct traversing the Moselle.

Through the gorgeous foret de benney and the wooded cliffs near gripport.

I had a stop at charmes in my head but it was full and not very charming to be honest so we just cracked on enjoying the ride although it has to be said that this section of the Vosges would not be on my list of favourites both for the number of locks and the scenery is pretty dull in comparison to earlier stretches.

We arrived at Nomexy at around 4 ish and with plenty of room on a solid mooring, we pulled in behind an English steeler. We sat and enjoyed some rest and relaxation in the blistering heat with some ice cold beers to help pass the day and watched as a large group of kids descended on the little but superb all weather 5 a side pitch some 50 yds away.

The kids age ranged from 17 to about 13. I watched the 13yr olds pass rings round there frustrated elders and was very impressed with a young number 10 who will be a fine player one day. Classically French though, a little lazy when his team did not have the ball.

It got later, i showered under the tree with the outdoor beauty, it was superb and whilst the neighbours were on their poop deck, I had smile when a growing bunch of 17 18 yr olds started to congregate on the picnic bench next to their boat. The kids had beers, noisy motor bikes and cars and started exploding bottles. Not sure how but it made very large bangs. We sat on the poop sniggering smugly whilst I BBQ"d collettes rather lovely looking chicken red pepper and courgette and red onion kebabs to go with our salad.

a point about kebabs which I just need to make at this juncture!

Now any chap out there will agree with me that whenever you attend a BBQ and the host has made kebabs with veg, you just feel sad. A quarter pounder lashings of ketchup and a nice little square of melted processed cheese and it's heaven. Bits of chicken which go dry because they are so small and veg which shrivel up and burn on the outside because the chicken ain't cooked yet and then go cold seconds after scraping them off that bloody wooden kebab stick which is burnt despite being soaked in water first and which without a serious marinating just tastes bland is just.... Well sad really, but girls they always do look nice Pre cooking!

The youngsters suddenly decided to move tables. One to the right which brought them directly opposite me. I had a meldew moment, i dont believe it! Lots of bonsoirs and, why move, that table is so much nicer and we had some banter. They were fine. Possibly sorted out a few dealS in front of my nose but hey ho they were harmless and very polite except for the very French habit of public urination. My earlier Shower spot was chosen under the tree which rather offended me but I found it a tad more humerous when one of the lads took a phone call and oblivious to his chums earlier relief, stood in the exact spot chatting on the phone happy as larry until and over and the wet feeling he suddenly felt between the toes of his flip flops made him very aware of his unfortunate position.

They slowly dispersed and we did likewise. It was a hot sultry night and that was just the weather conditions.

 

 

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