Friday 22nd Verdun

Friday sunshine spearing through a gap in the curtains ensured an early start. Breakfasted on sausages and a mushroom omelette we welcome wiltshire on his narrow boat "mary rose" alongside. I swap tales of our trip with wiltshire andy and while he settles in, we headed off to the market. Streets full of clothes, phone accessories, handbags, leather belts, double glazing and mattresses.

The french clearly buy a lot of these, when in bray sur somme a man in a van pulled up one morning and walked over to me asking if i was interested in a new mattress. I thought this a tad bizarre at the time but these ford transit based matress salesmen crop up everywhere. The remote auberge at consenvoye had hosted a matress morning for which we had spotted posters all over alsace lorraine. Their had been a stall at the broccante in lion devant meuse and now in verdun. I am not sure what it says about our french friends but i suspect it is more to do with odour issues rather than being worn out resultant of there self acclaimed obsession with affairs of a passionate nature. On which subject I am quickly developing a theory that the old adage about all show may apply. I can but conclude that The public heavy petting witnessed at every corner is a classic french feint. This level of public passion is designed to Suggest a surely Incredible frolic once behind closed doors. Truth is they leave the performance in the dressing room. Just a theory you understand!

We wander into a purpose built covered building for produce. Suddenly we have quality. I nearly swooned at the maccaroons and the cauliflowers were sensational. The french vegetable market is an art form. Superb arrangements, the artichokes appear to almost beat like hearts with pride, even the bunches of foliage topped carrots shine as though they have just had a week at a health spa. Still we managed to stay calm and only buy more eggs. We also treated ourselves to a gros size spit roasted chicken for lunch which was washed down with a side salad and took us into an afternoon of fascination.

The city was being treated to a free concert from two apparently famous French bands on the stage next to the boat. They were starting at 9 but by 2pm sound checks we're the order of the day. The headliners of course had first crack. After 5 hours of 1.2 testing and no end of knob twiddling the very evident sound engineers were finally in tune with the artistes and they finally all played in harmony and actually sounded pretty decent.

The warm up band had a quick hour to get themselves sorted but sounded fantastic. The VIP tents were bursting by 8 pm as we had our Pre show chicken baguettes. The crowd was a little sparse but one nice young man turned up with his mum and took a seat on the steps by the stage. The warm up bands singer appeared and greeted him with an embrace. This young man was clearly a big fan. The singer invited him into the dressing cabin. Thrilled and swooning, he leapt over the railings and emerged some 5 minutes later with a brown "debut" t-shirt. Showed it to mum before almost ripping it in his haste to put it on. I was warmed by this Nice touch from the band. Suddenly the VIP guests emerged from the free hospitality tents and the quay rapidly filled. Our problem was that we had a cab to catch and vim and Ajax were now knocking at the door. We left Wiltshire andy in charge of boat security and were a bit sad to be leaving as suddenly the stage erupted with noise as the bloody good Debut got things rocking.

Us cultural hounds were off to the son et lumiere. The taxi driver was superb and very friendly. We had got all the way to the entrance when I announced we had to pick up our tickets from the billetterie which was a mile back up the road. He was very happy to turn round and drive back through a throng of arriving coaches to enable us to pick up the tickets. Pas de problem. I can think of many who may have reacted rather differently.

We had drinks, picked up translators and finally took our seats at about 10.30pm joining the other 2500 expectant spectators. The scene is difficult to describe. We are sat at the back of a huge cavernous crater in the countryside which looks like a gravel works. There are two erected houses either side and a potholed lunar landscape directly in front. By 11 it is finally dark and the show begins. Collettes translator does not. I retrace my steps back out of the stand clearly ruffling a lot of settled feathers on the way. I get a new translator and annoy the same patrons for a second time. Settle down with Collette and put on the new one. No good. Bloody incredible. Give up on that and rely on my improving French to get by.

The show was just fantastic. 300 locals making up the cast telling the story of the battle of verdun. Lots of impressive lighting and fireworks filled the sky over this vast area and it was easy to see why the arena was 4 Kms outside of the city. Pics banned but could not possibly do it justice anyway, suffice to say, if you are ever in verdun, do not miss this spectacle.

Our driver collected us as arranged and deposited us back at a noisy quay. A spattering of drunken revellers had clearly not found their way home and had enjoyed a good night. Wiltshire andy was waiting on the pontoon prowling and eyeing a specific group of young students.

He explained that it had been a great concert but he had stopped one of them from urinating on Doucette earlier and was concerned about reparations as the lads were very drunk. I thanked him and waited with him but the lads sloped off very shortly after our return. It was pretty much derigour to pee in the canal at these events so I was not too surprised but still very dissappointing that one idiot thought it clever to pee on my boat.

We slept soundly finally retiring at 1.30