Saturday 18th August St, Jean de Losne

Water was required. I got up early and started the labour intensive task of topping up the tank filling the 25 lt can at the fire water hydrant which worked by spinning a huge brass top at a rate of knots to eject water out of the 4 inch nozzle which sadly was just to low of course for me to get the filler top of my can under so as much was spilt as ended up in the can. At least the hydrant was only 20yards away but it was still a heavy load to lug back down to Doucette with a messed up shoulder. The good news was that I was amazed to find 125 litres approx did the job. Nice one.

Like a man posessed i now attacked the cleaning of both Cob and magma. The crew was astonished at this turn of events. She luxuriated in a long hot shower and I was more than ready to follow her in.

It was already getting bloody hot and the saloon was no place to hang around. We strolled into town. At the head of the high street we checked out the memorial, apparently 15century, the folk of st. Jean defended the town against impossible odds. The memorial salutes them. The church tower has those bright glazed tiles adorning its roof, a common site in this region of France.

I love the random nature of french planning and the roofs are just well interesting shapes in a nouvea arty sort of nonsence manner.

Time for lunch, we decided on the national cafe directly overlooking Doucette. Went for the 13€ menu. I was after whitebait having seen it yesterday. Could not find it in my French book. I asked the waitress if one of the dishes was tiny fish, she immediately said yes and mimicked plunged in a deep fat fryer. Marvellous. After beer and coke, we add a 50cl pichet of rose for a bargain 4.50€. It is extremely light and worryingly the crew loves it.

Entrees arrive, warm quiche with lardons for crew, cocque st. Jacques for skipper. Hers is nice but only nice, mine is fab.

A nice interlude before trouble arrives in the shape of the mains. Collette has a very nice lamb shank. I get calamari rings and chips. Non, non, non!

Ok it's inside away from the crowd. We discuss in French. I explain, I wanted tiny fish, she says are friture.

Yes say I. But you have ordered this. Yes but that's because I thought you understood petit poisson and I was getting whitebait. A minute she replies. I go back to the table. She produces within minutes a new plate hot fresh chips a lovely salad and a humongous amount of lovely whitebait.

I thank her profusely and she removes the calamari, which by the way would also have been very nice but I was after whitebait.

Another pichet of rose to help wash it down, I was in raptures.

Creme caramel for the crew and I had 3 chunks of wonderful cheese. Regional burgundy speciality was the signature piece and I got the name, epuisse. Lovely!

I wash it all down with a cafe and then l'addition arrives. My glassy smile of satisfaction is swiftly replaced by one of a more suspicious quizzical nature. The bill is 10 euros more than I expected 51 instead of 41. I investigate it. I have been charged for three separate dishes instead of the 13€ menu and it comes to 23€.

Ok we have a few problems here so I invite the waitress back inside to discuss. She states that the whitebait is not part of the 13€ menu. Ok say I but you never told me that at the time of changing the dish and also you still gave me the choices of entree and dessert from my selected menu. Why did you not say anything at the time as this obviously indicated that you were happy with me still being on the 13€ menu. Also no way is whitebait an extra 10€.

She got all Gallic on me with flailing exhasperated drama. I simply said non!

After 5 long minutes the owners now involved and the patron is nodding to the waitress that it is ok! She is still practically hysterical. I am having none of it.

Finally she rips through the bill with her pen tearing it in half in the process and changes it to 41€.

Ok I said merci, now we have that agreement , I will pay an extra 5€ as a gesture of my goodwill and the fact that I have enjoyed a lovely meal and excellent service and understand that language barriers have been to blame and so I must carry some responsibility also. I said all this of course in perfect French!

Non, squeezed the waitress 41€.

The patron shrugged.

I was now getting arsy about her attitude in refusing my gesture so I gave a massive smiling merci tout Le monde and returned to my table. I sat another 5 minutes and when the waitress and patron walked by, I casually but very publicly slipped 5 € under my wine glass.

It is no co incidence we won the hundred years war, I pondered.

The afternoon was spent very sleepily keeping up to date wit.h mattie and Swindon and Pompey on the net and watching the pyrotechnic team setting up tonight's display across the river. Computers and wires strewn alongside the towpath. Not like the old days of a box of Brocks, two packets of sparklers and a pocket full of jumping jacks.

Received a nice catch up call from lanksville who was off out for a romantic anniversary meal with Rose. Very nice!

The music started at 8.30, awful Is far too generous a description. Mostly French chanson songs but of course they threw in a couple of boney m numbers and a horrendous rendition of eh veeeeva es-------------pargniar.

At 10.30 the crowd swelled and the quay became the grandstand. We of course were like statler and waldorf sat in prime position on our white slingbacks sipping gin and tonics. Must have looked a right couple of charlies but hey ho what a view.

The fireworks were as always very impressive but we did see something new. I tried to take a picture. Dismal failure. A stream of rockets were set off and just 20 metres up in the air the appeared to have gone wrong as they fell into the river. As they hit the water they became a long line of glowing burning waterlights. In the flesh it was pretty spectacular.

The heat, the drink, the big lunch, the battle of the cafe national, the singing and the fireworks had been a heady mix and with a last huge sigh of the day, we retired ready for Z'ds.

 

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